December 28, 2019

Revealing 2019

Bentar lagi udah mau ganti tahun aja, how time flies so fast, orang-orang selalu punya resolusi tahun baru, punya target dan tujuan, while aku bukan salah satu dari orang-orang itu, aku tipikal orang yang kurang punya ambisi dalam hidup, cita-cita itu ada tapi aku nggak akan memaksakan jika diriku nggak mampu jadi seperti itu, karena aku lebih suka menikmati hidup, dibawa slow hidup ini jangan terlalu ambisius sampe lupa caranya having fun.

Jadi, setiap tutup tahun biasanya aku review apa aja best and worst moment aku, dan goal apa yang aku udah bisa capai sepanjang tahun, goal dalam hal ini lebih kayak impian aku dari dulu, for example aku dari SMA pengen banget stay for good di Bali, dan tahun ini Tuhan kasih aku kesempatan buat kerja dan stay di Bali, itu contoh best moment aku di tahun 2019.
Buat worst moment nya mungkin masih sama tahun ini diuji dengan banyak kekecewaan, terutama pekerjaan dan love life. Tapi ga separah tahun lalu, tahun ini levelnya masih dibawah level tahun sebelumnya. Jadi mungkin worst moment aku masih tentang kekecewaan dan sakit hati.

Harapan aku setiap tahun baru sih simple ya, cuma pengen belajar terus, hal apapun itu, jadi the better version of me, lebih bahagia intinya gitu, karena hidup harus bahagia sih menurut aku, percuma kita hidup mengejar ambisi tapi kita sendiri ngerasa nggak bahagia, I want to travel more buat belajar hal-hal yang ga pernah kita temui sebelumnya, to get lost somewhere biar bisa lebih kenal diri sendiri, and to love myself more.

December 8, 2019

Rambling Ditha (such a hard period)


I've been feeling frustrated this past few weeks and I'm still feeling that way right now I guess. Hospitalized for 4 days, fixed office administration, cleaned and packed my stuffs in Jogja then brought them all to my hometown, and prepared everything because I moved to Bali a few days ago. It feels like time forces me to move fast while actually I still want to be in Jogja, even though I really love Bali, but Jogja is such a comfort place for me.

I lived in Jogja for five years, it's long enough to have so much memories between that city, the people, and I.
Every corner of Jogja has it's own story I still perfectly remember when I the first time stepped my feet on it. The cheap food, friendly local people, the coffee shops, burjo, sunset always make me want to go back again and again.

I'm still trying to adapt myself in the new city, homesick and cried everyday because I miss my friends in Jogja, so that I always call my best friends everyday to make me feeling even better. Hope Bali will be as comfy as Jogja did to me, the struggle is real because it's my first time moving far from hometown.

And here's some pictures of me when I'm in Ubud, by the way I went to Bali for many times but this is my first visit to Ubud, finally!

Wish me luck,

November 29, 2019

Dear you,

Dear you,
At the first time we met I never thought that my mind would always think of you
I never though that we would be best friends
And I never thought that being around you was the comfiest place I ever been

Dear you,
I wish I could meet you earlier 
I wish I could share more moments and stories between us
I wish we could go for a camping to watch the sunrise in the morning

Dear you,
Why is it too fast?
Why does it break my heart?
Why does it hurt me continuosly?

Dear you,
Thank you for being such a good friend
Thank you for making my days had so much fun
Thank you for sharing your thoughts that opens mine

Your 911 

October 29, 2019


"Kapan nikah?" "Kok ga nikah-nikah? Ga takut ketuaan ntar kalo punya anak?" "Awas loh jadi perawan tua kayak si bla bla bla"

Those words have been so familiar to my ears when people asked me why I haven't got married this age, as you guys know in my country people here will easily decide to get married at the age between 20 - 30 years old and they will judge if you have great career, enough salary, and you're already 30-ish but you haven't got married. So, what's the point of marriage?

Before reading the next sentences I will give it disclaimer, this is my personal opinion, it's okay if you have your own.

Honestly, everytime I hear the word "marriage" the first thought appears on my mind is SCARY. Have you ever imagined you will spend the rest of your life with someone you never know how they will be in the next 10 years? For example, you have a relationship with your partner, he's nice, gentle, loyal, religious, so that you decide to marry him for all the good personalities you find on him, he's just perfect. Time goes by and you slowly find him becoming "another him" the one who's no longer nice, cheating behind you, high bad tempered, and suddenly you will think you marry the wrong person.

I know that not all that bad story about marriage happens, some of them have a very happy marriage life, lucky them. For me, marriage is like a fairy tale whether you will have happy or sad ending, it's like choosing your own destiny; whether it's a nice dream or nightmare.
I'm not into the words "your future is destined by God's plan" but my own future is chosen by myself, God give us so much option in life we can choose which one we want it to be, so yeah our future is in our own choice.

Sometimes I wonder why people can easily marry their partner in young age, I wonder why people can easily choose someone to spend the rest of their life with, I'm amazed with that decision.
Honestly, I have my own marriage dream, I want to have cute kids, good husband, and happy family, but the feeling of "scared" always sticks in my mind, and I'm still trying to deal with it.

For those who still waiting for the right person to marry, just don't worry! They will come to you at the right time, for those whose hearts are broken, just move on! You will find happiness in other person, and for those who choose to be single, loving yourself is way better than loving the wrong person.

Stay chill!